maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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