I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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