Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its about making memories worth repressing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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