Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
