yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
