your thong is hanging out like whoa
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
