I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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