you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
being pregnant is like rehab
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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