$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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