I think im going to throw up on grandma
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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