i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
