How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
