I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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