just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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