Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
