You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
