I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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