There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
