please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize