so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
