It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
