i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
