Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
