Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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