Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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