I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
