You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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