If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
