she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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