Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
