I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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