i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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