Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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