Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
