is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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