ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Enjoy the penises
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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