They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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