You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
