I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
