Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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