He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
