1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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