so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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