This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
