Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
