your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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