Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i want to swaddle you in tequila
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
