We're like a lot better than the average bears
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
