we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
