i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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