My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
