Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
