I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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