I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I just sharted jello shots
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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