i permit you to call me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
