That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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