can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
