You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize