and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
