Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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