When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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