Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
