I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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