I am in a vortex of obligation.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
