you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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