holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
